everyday seems to be a routine gng through the motion repeatedly like a programmed robot. im packed with stuff so busy that i can hardly breathe or even tune myself to the right timing to sleep, for instance at this hour of the day even blogging, staying up throughout the night doing nth only with the company of my book not that its not good enough considering past mid-night there's nth more exciting than my book but with the whole day ahead in a few hours time, think im gng to die. i need to find a way to break free from this, whatever it is. im officially sick of it. it's not whatever i do that defines the boredom of it but rather i feel as if smth's amiss from whatever im up to now seriously. i work my way through, stumbling bt still to no avail. i need smth that i would look forward to every single minute im away from it, maybe just that faint spark. it's as if i sense the direction but i cant tell where's my destination, all i know is that everythings a blur and a spin beside me. Hopfully, someday i might be able to find my way through the dark in the thick fog that the beam of the sun can so hardly penetrate.

and again it seems like my glass is filled to the brim with sheer emptiness.


These violent delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and power,
Which, as they kiss, comsume

Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene VI

time now is 6:30 AM